A co-creative experiment in feral ways of knowing, sensing, and making sense with more-than-human worlds.



Loops Archive

Loop 1 - Becoming Eco-social Change

The first Feral Gift Loop brought together artists, designers, researchers, and social change-makers of various backgrounds to reflect on and performatively enact their diverse experiences of eco-social change. See the full Loop



Loop 2 - Multispecies Sensemaking: When are we together? (Coming Soon)

Capturing moments of multispecies co-existence, where human and other-than-human lives come together in an intentional attempt to understand and make sense with each other. Moving together, following each other's time, to the point when we meet.  

Loop 3 - Finding Everyday Spectacles (Coming Soon)

Foraging for spectacular moments of everydaylife co-existence in Finnish forests, gardens, and street corners.   



How to Loop

A Step-By-Step Guide to Create Your Feral Gift Loop
  • 1] Gather a group of (other-than) humans willing to participate.

  • 2] Set a theme or a focus for your collective feral gifting → (or maybe you want to start with a theme and gather a group of contributors around that? Then swap steps 1 and 2).

  • 3] Organise a get-together with your group to agree on the structure of your loop exchange: How long will your loop take (days, weeks, months, aeons)? When will each contributor share their prompt? How much time can others in the group take to respond?

  • 4] Decide on a communication channel that you will use for your loop and the exchange of prompts and documented enactments. We’ve used Telegram so far, but you can do whatever you want. You might also set up a shared cloud storage to upload larger files.

  • 5] The Feral Gift exchange can happen privately, with gifts being shared only among a closed group of contributors. But if you all agree, you can also share your process more widely - for instance by using this online Feral Gift archive (under a CC BY-NC-SA license) or at any other place you prefer. You can also organise the whole loop publicly and facilitate the exchange via a public channel - it depends on you; what you wish to explore, with whom, and how. In Loop #1, we shared our process at the Uroboros 2022 festival in Prague and later at a symposium in the .zip spaceRotterdam.

  • * If this sounds too prescriptive, you can always come up with a different way of facilitating the gifting exchange.




Get In Touch

The Feral Gift project was initiated in 2022 by Markéta Dolejšová and Danielle Wilde, as an ongoing experiment open to further contributions. 

The project is supported by Uroboros Festival and Aalto ARTSand the website was generously funded by the Kone Foundation

If you want to organise your own Feral Gift Loop, feel free to use this site as an inspiration and let us know how it went. We are happy to include your Loop in the online Feral Gift archive under a CC BY-NC-SA license, but you can share it wherever else you like. 

Do you have any questions or ideas related to the project? Send us a message


Disclaimer

The content of this site, including materials shared in all Loops, is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-ShareAlike 4.0 International License (CC BY-NC-SA 4.0).  Click hereif you would like to view a copy of this license. 
Feral Gift is a co-creative experiment in feral ways of knowing, sensing, and making sense with more-than-human worlds. 
Week 5
guided by
Iryna    
    Zamuruieva
ContributorsAnn Light
Danielle Wilde
Felipe G. Gil + Open Forest Collective
Martyna Miller
Score

Slowly, slowly move through your landscape 
(who is your landscape?) 
Wonder and sway and lose your weight in it
Slowly, freely enter its endless freedom
Can you see its wounds, birthmarks and beauty? 
Can you tell what it’s whispering?

🌾🌾🌾🌾🌾🌾🌾🌾🌾🌾🌾🌾🌾🌾🌾🌾🌾🌾🌾🌾🌾🌾🌾🌾🌾🌾


Score References

[0] Personal commentary

I grew up in the middle of Ukrainian steppes. Or what used to be steppes. Now it’s mainly agricultural monocrop plantations of sunflowers and rapeseed, harvested for producing cooking oils. The excerpts below are from a novel ‘Dr. Leonardo’s Journey to Sloboda Switzerland with his Future Lover, the Beautiful Alcesta’ by a Ukrainian writer Maik Yohansen. It was both beautiful and painful rediscovering this work for me: I adore the attention, care and experimental-ness with which he wrote about the more-than-human worlds and my dear steppes in particular; the story played with me, winked at me, lead me to unexpected places and enchanted the world for me. But reading it was also painful: Yohansen finished it in 1932, a couple of years before he was persecuted by the soviet regime and eventually shot, becoming one of many artists, intellectuals and writers of Ukrainian Executed Renaissance. The novel unfolds both in the central steppy part of Ukraine and in the forest-steppe region in the north-east. The river Donets, described in the excerpts below, is one where the current war frontline is, where a mass grave with more than 500 Ukrainians was discovered as our army liberated Izyum, the town on this river. With Russia’s war on Ukraine, the history of oppression and slow violence extending itself into my own present – reading, sharing and engaging these kinds of work feels important beyond words.

The seven translated excerpts from the novel were kindly shared with me by Dr. Uilleam Blacker, whose English translation of the book is due to be published later this year. Feel free to read them all or choose whichever one speaks to you. There’s also an image, part of the steppe series that I made earlier this winter, at the bottom of the document.


[1] A journey through steppes and scales

This was what Don Jose Pereira said to his friend, the Irish setter Rodolfo, as they walked together through the steppe. Rodolfo had until then been listening rather distractedly to his elder companion’s lengthy narrative, since the steppe was filled with the scent-portraits of a great many hares, among which there arose suddenly the image of a great bustard, inscribed vividly in three scents, in concrete and relief, like a mezzotint; and there was not a square metre of ground that was not decorated with the tender miniatures of countless quails. Rodolfo reluctantly tore himself away from the cinematographic tableau of these scents and gave an official, albeit loving, wag of his tale. But seeing that Don Jose had not taken his Sauer from his shoulder, he understood that his master’s discourse was rather of a philosophical nature, and that his consciousness had not yet been penetrated by the great exhibition of scents. This did not surprise Rodolfo – he had understood long ago that Don Jose Pereira, his elder companion, was blind to scent to such a degree that the awful, oppressive, poisonous, chemical smell of his ladies did not prevent him from sitting in the same room as them and even kissing their hands. These aromas did not give Don Jose a headache and, indeed, after spending an evening with such a lady, an expression of sweet luxury would usually settle on his face as he sniffed the air.

        These were the approximate thoughts of Rodolfo as he plunged through the rainbow colours of scent, and Don Jose Pereira, pleased that Rodolfo was listening to him and in full agreement, continued:
        ‘You and I, Rodolfo, my red-haired friend, have embarked on a journey that, though it may be slow, will be filled to the brim with smells, images and impressions (‘Full to the brim for some, not so much for others…’, thought Rodolfo sceptically as he heard these words). You must agree that the slower the journey, the more details one notices, and the quicker it is, the fewer details, which gives rise to generalizations, schemes, abstractions and philosophising.
        ‘The fastest journey, along the straightest line, is the one made by that moss-covered stone that lies on the steep bank of the Donets between two ancient oaks. The earth carries it round the sun and among the planets, and together with the sun and the planets it is hurtling at great speed in the direction of some distant god-knows-what. The depression in which it lies is its soft cabin, and its stone soul is thinking in gigantic, abstract, astronomical, philosophical propositions. 

        ‘And now remember how we flew by aeroplane from Berlin to Moscow, turning our path towards these steppes. The planets were nowhere to be seen and the sun stood like a policeman amid a blue pond in the early springtime preventing the old men from catching carp during spawning season. The sun stood amid the blue pond, and we saw the earth.

        ‘The earth was like a geographical relief map. This was not the real, warm, bountiful earth, but rather an administrative view of the area showing geological, topographical, economic and agricultural perspectives. Smaller rivers flowed tidily into larger ones, fields were divided according to the six-field rotation system, the forested massifs were laid out as they should be in all the correct places, and people populated the earth at a predictable and consistent volume per square kilometre.

        ‘When we got on the train that was to heave us ever so slowly from Moscow to Kherson, the earth reared up on both sides of us like two naturalistic stage sets. It switched from being horizontal to vertical, turning from a geographical map into theatrical scenery. It baffled us with sparkling shingle and stones along the railway lines, it drew back the curtain of the pine trees from in front of a small, secluded lake, it led a horse on to the stage and the horse neighed in the meadow; the earth staged mass scenes involving traders and milkmaids at the stations – voices hummed and denarii clinked as they fell to the platform to pay for the milk. But the train kept moving, and the unmoving sets of the landscapes were once more in motion, those vertical plans of the earth.

        ‘Our journey become slower and more colourful when I got on my bicycle, with my pack on my back, and you, my ginger friend, Rodolfo, ran behind me. Our straight path became crooked and capricious, there were no rails to limit my light wheels, and the earth lay on two levels – vertical and horizontal. Ground squirrels danced by the road and plunged into their burrows, the scent of wild thyme filled the air, a dung beetle solemnly crossed the rails – and I, pointing my wheel in his direction, crushed his beetly life with a tasty splat - sparrows twittered and, like a handful of millet, scattered themselves before the bicycle. A cloud of dust rose in the air: the tyres hissed along the path, my keys, like a metal wellspring, gurgled in my kitbag and a sprig of mugwort, caught up in my spokes, rattled, registering the turning of the wheels.

        ‘And now we leave the bicycle in the village and leave the path. We move very slowly, all our plans are forgotten, and only embodied bodily life remains. Now my feet, and not wheels, trample the dust and grass, and my vision and hearing and sense of smell are so full of living life that I am simply unable to describe it fully. Slowly, slowly, we move through the steppe.

       We wander and sway and grow weightless in the steppes. Slowly and freely we enter the endless freedom of the steppes.
By your tense back, your burning eyes, your vigorous tail, I see, my ginger friend Rodolfo, that you have entered most completely into the steppe. Your childhood, your years of rigorous study, your refined education, all this disappears like a dream in the face of the sun-drenched expanses of the steppe. You, subtle and ironic Irishman, you have already become a wild hunter of the fields.

[2] Humming dum

It was the middle of August, and Don Jose Pereira and his friend, the red setter Rodolfo, were travelling through the distant steppes. It was also the middle of the day, and the sun was almost in the middle of the sky. They were making their way towards a geodetic survey tower, beyond which duck country began. That’s what Don Jose’s host, the Kherson villager Sereda, told him. Don Jose and Rodolfo were right in the middle of their hike through the distant steppe.

        The steppe was very wide, the steppe was everywhere, it was above them, on all sides, and in front of them. The steppe spread like an enormous disc all around them, in all directions, round and endless. Those who live among mountains and hills, on the high banks of rivers, or in humid damp forests, would not see the steppe as they walked through this endless disc. It was not there. The steppe is that which is not there. There are no mountains, no woods, no lakes. There is nothing but a great, brazen disc, above which shimmers a mystical, sparkling mist. The copper edges of the great universal disc quivered, and vibrating circles span towards the horizon as though speeding on rails. And the traveller had to reach the very middle of the day in the steppe to be able to feel the latter’s million intoxicating voices. 

        There was a dum in the steppe. The dum hummed from beneath the earth, from among the roots of the dusty, sunburned plants, the dum fell out of the sky, raced against the sound of the grass, tumbled through the mist and the patches of sun, died down in the whisper of last year’s sawdust and then grew again: it glided through the grass, exploded into a wild, monotonous Mongolian symphony, howled and deafened those who heard it; it beat its wings madly against the intractable copper disc; it whistled, screeched, shrieked, and then again, falling still on the low lying ground, the dum scattered among the quiet sounds of the grass, faded, and disappeared into the earth, leaving behind it the dried-up tears of salty black earth. 

        Pereira and Rodolfo walked as though asleep. Some distance off to their right, several huge figures loitered around some giant haystacks. They were loading wheat onto carts, and Don Jose Pereira, who was not well-versed in political economy, mistook them for the proletariat.

[...]

The friends were now walking along the bottom. Instead of mountains and valleys, the steppe has a top and bottom. At first sight, there is no difference between them, but an old steppe hand will notice immediately that on top the horizon is wider and the grasses are different from those on the bottom. The grass on the bottom is slightly greener, and it dries out later in the year.

[3] Entering the steppe

The sun scorched the steppe, rained fiery droplets onto the long barrel of the Sauer, held its breath, entered Don Jose’s soul and squeezed burning droplets from his dark skin. He was burning up and burning out under the sun. He felt as though everything that had kept him alive until that moment was burning up, his thoughts, the familiar structures of his worldview and his habits all burned and disintegrated. He forgot everything he knew. The sun scorched his memory. He forgot who he was and where he came from and why had had come to this place. He had long ago entered the steppe, and now the steppe had entered him. He felt as though all that he had been before was escaping from him with lightning speed down the blinding barrels of his gun and across the horizon. His ‘I’ flashed on the horizon, it was a fly thousands of versts away from him at the edgeend of the endless path of the two, mirror-like barrels.He dropped his rifle, and his ‘I’ sank behind the horizon. 

        A new sort of blood, drunken and more bitter than wormwood, flowed through his veins and flooded his head. He felt clearly that he had been burned to ashes and was born anew. He was no longer Don Jose Pereira, intellectual and tyrant-fighter, but Danko Kharytonovych Pererva, man of the steppe and member of the Steppe Regional Executive Committee.

[4] Changing river, changing forest, a dense mesh of sounds

Look, our boat is gliding round the thirteenth bend in the river, and now the entire landscape will change completely, as though some stage director had switched on the forest lamps instead of the steppe ones.

        The water becomes dark, quiet, and deep. The water becomes four times wider, but three quarters of it is darkened by the shadow of the tree-covered mountains. If you were to close your eyes at the thirteenth bend, you would, when you opened them, feel as though you had been transported together with the boat to a different clime, thirty degrees to the north. It is cold and damp here. The sycamores and oaks come to the dark river’s edge and drape their ragged sleeves across the water. The boat passes the final inlet and black poplars appear on the left bank. A heavy cloud docks above the great river and drops its anchors over the forest.

        The mountain has obscured half the world to us, and this is only the first and smallest mountain. The second is higher, the third higher still, and the fourth even higher than that – thus the mountains rise with each river bend.

        You see that the forest is tranquil and quiet. The wolves are asleep in their lairs far from the river and come down to the water at night to drink. There are no people, but there are wild goats in the very deepest parts of the forest.

        And you hear in the silence a watery sound, a note, the trill of a woodwind instrument in an orchestra. Now it is quiet, now it chirrups somewhere far away, as though some bird is flitting from one mountain to another, trailing behind it a ribbon of watery, slightly hoarse, indistinct and misty sounds.

        This bird, with its wooden throat, is the first flute of the Switzerland of the Steppes. It is in fact the sound of the wooden bells hung around the necks of cows so that any lost animal can be easily found. 

        Now look above the forest, you can see, above the treetops, that at the very peak of the mountain there hang transparent, vertical columns of smoke, as though a dozen Abels have simultaneously lit their fires in the heavenly forest.

        They waver slightly whenever a breeze passes, and then straighten themselves out again. They look as though someone had stretched out long, narrow fishing nets to dry and had fasted one end to the clouds and the other to the forest.

        Those, my Alceste, are mosquitoes, and they are not hovering over the forest, but rather over us. It is impossible for us to orientate ourselves in relation to the air, and what is floating right above our own noses often seems to us to be floating somewhere above the distant forest.

        In the history of hunting there are many examples of hunters grabbing their rifles and shooting at flies, mistaking them for ducks flying above the bushes.

        You will have noticed some time ago that between the watery trills there is another, higher, cleaner, more drawn-out sound.

        This is the second flute, the piccolo of the Switzerland of the Steppes. And you can see who is playing that flute. 

        Don’t those swallows that are flying above the mountain seem somehow larger than they should be? And wouldn’t you say that their wings don’t quite have that sickle moon shape that they should have? Ah, there goes one of those swallows now: her wings are shaped more like a half moon and they remind one of sun shining through smoke. The wings are pale orange and the feathers are pale blue at the ends.

        This is indeed a piccolo. This is merops apiaster, which, they say, is the only remnant of this region’s tropical fauna, from the time before the great wandering of the earth’s icecaps.

        Folks call these birds bee-eaters because they love more than anything to hunt bees.

        But now a far more colourful gem darts along the riverbank – he had been sitting among the reeds when our boat startled him. This is a kingfisher, as the English call him, though we call him a syniovud – a blue fisherman. 

        And the farther the boat sails into the depths of the forest, the denser and richer the sounds become. The wooden bells and cries of the bee-eaters are joined by a metal tympany, sharp and harsh – this is the sound of the heron. Then one hears the clarinet-cockerels of the orchestra: the wild, high-pitched screech of hawks and falcons. And underneath all of this, like the evening chirruping of crickets, is a dense mesh of sounds produced by all sorts of smaller, singing birds.

[5] The first one to notice

Meanwhile, on the surface of the living earth, remarkable, profound changes on a most unimaginable scale had begun. In the damp, high grass next to the mallard lake, a dissonant, grating sound could be heard, despite the fact that only three bushes away a crowd of people was thrashing around looking for Don Jose Pereira. This was a corncrake, who was the first to react to these seismic changes. Its scraping cries were long and terrifying, its yellow eye sought out among the grassroots a blue dung beetle, which was sniffing its way towards a fresh pile of horse manure that the faithful horse Volodka had gifted to the forest. That beetle also felt the change that had occurred in nature. The beetle breathed deeply, drawing fresh air into his powerful trachea, breathed again, and again, and understood that it was time to stop walking and start flying towards the sweet scent of the horse’s gift. Brrzz! The blue dung beetle took flight, but he promptly bumped into an aspen branch and tumbled to the ground in a bad temper. Rising on its long, yellow legs, the corncrake interrupted its melancholic cacophony and ate the beetle, crushing its blue shell like a nut. The corncrake then felt like taking a drink, but something had happened in nature and he once again took up his grating cry from the grass beside the mallard lake.

[6] Beginnings coming into being

In the mallard lake a certain beginning was coming into being. Everything was quietly overgrown with sedge, which, like sheafs of wheat, stood up in bunches. Among the sedge, abundant duckweed lived quietly and floated eternally. Willow bushes hung over the balmy banks, half covering the little lake so that it looked like a watery eye, half closed under thick, green eyelashes. The eye nevertheless peered through the clear, watery opening in the middle of the pond, and the pond reflected the sky, and in the iris of that eye there grew iris and rushes and reeds.

        The mallards slept near this pond, their heads tucked under their wings. The most delicate sun-wind, so slow and gentle like the hands of a watch, pushed their feathery bodies from among the reeds towards the open water; in their dreams, the mallards sleepily and instinctively resisted the current with their feet and, without waking up, steered themselves back among the sedge.

        The old drake, who was moulting and bothered by lice, was the first to wake up. The old warrior stretched out his head on his wiry neck, which already bore its white winter ring, and breathed in the air. He understood that it was not the lice that had woken him. Some strange changes could be felt in the air, in nature, and he could no longer sleep. He flapped his wings and hissed. Nearby, a young female mallard, his latest lover and a faithful student of his ancient wisdom, quacked in response.

[7] Mist

Neither Doctor Leonardo, nor beautiful Alceste, nor the kind woodcutter could yet feel the secret change that was coursing through nature. They once again ascended the steep path to the kind forester’s chalet, and, in that same clearing where the lovers had once lost one another, they now had to stop and rest. The lower part of the clearing was still bathed in sunlight, but the upper part was already sunk in damp shadow. There, beautiful Alceste picked out a tree stump to sit on, but, before she reached the spot, she saw something remarkable down below at the foot of the hill.

[...]

Meanwhile, nature cast down on them, like a pear tree shedding its blossom, sign after sign that evening had come; the sun dropped below the earth. Among the rye, a hare awakened. Taking no chances, he immediately took fright and fled; having run half a kilometre, however, he suddenly became conscious of how wonderful life in the rye smelled, and he returned to his grazing.

        The fog, like a silent catfish, crept soundless across the land, swallowing all the rivers, streams and lakes, and on the mallard lake the ducks became restless. They began to stretch and beat their wings more frequently; a young female duck anxiously called out to her fellow birds in the neighbouring lakes and waited for their reply. At the fringe of the forest a fox emerged, creeping from its burrow and sniffing intently the warm scents that floated on the air. Finally, having identified the scent of a dead sheep from among the chaotic chorus of ground squirrel, frog, dog, human, cow, horse and hare, he made his choice and made off in the direction of that particular delicacy.  ‘That is the evening mist!’ said Doctor Leonardo as he reached the damp shadows and also became aware of the great change in nature. Half of the bridge across the Donets was still there, but the other half was gone – what was there, however, was a shimmering white cloud that had already swallowed up the roadside willows and had drunk up half the water in the great Donets.


Ann LightFormat:  .txt
Location: Brighton, UK
Date: 2022


(1) IncidentalsI play Bowie’s Sense of Doubt and Simple Minds’ Theme for Great Cities. Songs of alienation. I talk to the Arsenal fan at the bar. Yes, we both saw matches at Highbury. He nearly kisses my hand when I leave. He shakes it. We have talked about the Queen but I am feeling more like Judi Dench. An old dame, anyway.

Did I put off coming to Poland for so many years because it reminds me of my granny? Particularly my granny… (I am now nearly as old as my granny!) … and other things. But the train journey from Berlin is unremarkable. We cross a river, The Oder, and we are now able to take our facemasks off and breathe again. I wasn’t expecting that release.

I notice that the pedestrian lights favour cars here. I notice that the lift at the hotel is not tuned to cope with 11 floors. I wait around a lot, watching and sizing up. It seems friendly.

The fruit flies that hugged us in Berlin have disappeared so it wasn’t the plums. I have brought the plums from Dresden as an offering. Dresden is full of baroque beauty along the Elbe. It is not like Coventry, despite its fate in World War II. It must have been quite the seat of Saxony power. Anyway, it turns out 2kg of plums is enough to hurt a shoulder when combined with the pink terror. But it’s fewer plums now as I gave some to Sabine on the way through…

The pink terror has stayed with Sabine, who is off to play cards with the competitive elements in her institute and still win. Someone threw a pack at her for outsmarting them last time they went together on a residential. I will miss the stories of her stay in the country, merely visiting her flat to reclaim the pink tyranny before my next journey, while she is tirelessly, reluctantly bonding with her team. 

I am in a country where I may understand less than in Finland. Is that a new marker for this trip? I know one word. It means ‘good’. I can’t use it by itself unless I am answering someone. I am looking at the language for the first time, it seems, despite hearing it: from a friend talking to her parents; from a grandmother who lapsed into a different tongue as she was ready to die. I can see terms have come into the language from elsewhere. I enjoy their embellishment with long suffixes. 

From Helsinki, after a free day where I never get beyond second hand shops and restless wandering, I take the ferry. It is the size to dwarf a coastline. It is Saturday night but I resist my (mild) curiosity about the nightclubs, having been to the buffet. At least at the buffet, there were crustaceans.

I enjoy spectacular views of clouds over sea and then clouds over sea and green islands. It goes on for hours. I don’t bother with the curtains at the window.

In Finland, I discovered the efficacy of my Swedish to read daily life. In Stockholm, we might assume I can grasp even more, but I am in the hands of Daniel P. and all that that entails and he is telling me about his plan to become a court jester. I have been staying in a hostel and the shrillest fire alarm sounds for a solid 10 minutes outside the toilet in which I happen to be locked. It is not safe to venture into the noise. At KTH, where I meet him, they are also testing the alarms and I fear for my ears. Is it National Fire Alarm Testing Day? I believe that Sweden could have such a thing. My hearing is battered all morning, one way or another.

My walk to the T-bana on the second day is joyous, taking me past tiny houses on small allotment style portions of land. There is a burst of sun. If allotments are good, these are funkier. I want a Swedish summerhouse. I do. 

And then I am in Berlin, briefly, at another hostel. This one has aggressive notices. I am not allowed to do things. That’s fine. I go to supper and then I go to bed. It is simple. The room is spacious, calm and clean. But the ladies toilets are on the opposite side of the quadrant and I always visit them at some point in the dark, the late hours, the point where nearly everyone is asleep but some youngsters are still talking, looking up, noticing I am in coat and nightshirt. “That’s it,” I think, but not out loud. “You get older and you go wandering about in the small hours. Yes.” The things I think when wondering about at night.

For a moment I consider whether the electronic check-in system has a sense of the hostel layout. Does it assign rooms in order of arrival? Does it do spite? I was once given a room with a broken heating system because I didn’t smile at the reception desk. I smile now. The system spits out Room 38: directly opposite the men’s toilets and showers. It doesn’t know that you inevitably set off the hand-drier when you move awkwardly in washing. It wasn’t tormenting me. 

So I am playing Bowie’s Berlin period and feeling that a lot of water has passed under that bridge. I saw Bowie in 1978, sleek in wide trews and a neat shirt, just after all the fuss was over. Heroes. In a quiet spotlight. Perhaps the best of all moments. Perhaps not. 

I am reminded of that change of direction as if something has walked over our graves. 

All this Europe. Sexy. Crumpled. Full of language.  

Train journeys. 

Keys.



(2) BelongingI visit two places where I am shown a haven for other energies and ways of being. 

The first is a co-working space in Stockholm. The aesthetic is accentuated alternative - a peach chaise longue in a room with peach walls and a large working table; a chandelier in makeshift mockery of a boardroom; lush corners for radical making and talking. It is the take-over of an old factory by the docks far from the centre of town. The rent is low - Laura found it for the collective when they had to move last time, when they grew up from squatters to social enterprise. People pay a subscription and share, tidy and love the place as members. I hear stories of travelling across the city to be present, but also of the intimidating coolness of the makers. The friendships transcend the mood: powerful women building a container city full of entrepreneurs; a secret restaurant; a clothes swap hanging between the doorways; a home to raised beds and balconies and other signs of collaborative labour. It defies the clean efforts of the corporate offices and working spaces of a town that needs to be tidy. Stockholm needs this because it is Stockholm.

Laura is keen to show me this. She has found (perhaps made) a place of connection, a long walk across a big field from where she has settled back into Sweden and full of people who have no deep roots here. Few voices hold the Stockholm twang and English is ubiquitous, not just because it is the Swedish second tongue. It is everyone’s second tongue here.

My second encounter with home-making... I am in Poznan at Domie (“at home”) on a formal visit, billed as a special guest and probably terrifying the locals from attending. English is not a lingua franca. I listen to how people are speaking. The neighbours are shy of their few words. The others speak in a mix of Russian with the Belarusians and Polish between one another, before precise but tentative translations for me. The picnic brings together different worlds, the building’s old and eccentric neighbours, newcomers and transients, the performance artists, makers and waifs who identify with the queerness here and have adopted Domie for their exhibition space. 

It is a scruffy set of rooms, a piece of Poland’s cinematic history but now a place of pigeons and car engines, flight paths, dust and concrete. A sparrow pecks. A fly. A dead-limbed rose is struggling on and the nasturtiums on the cake are descendants from those grown earlier in the summer in the collective gardening that lasted a few weeks. We eat them.

The picnics and the gardening turn the grey into bountiful colours. 

Martyna wears all purple, Gosia’s sweatshirt is purple too and the carpets, rugs and chairs are bold and turquoise, yellow and orange. People show me Instagram accounts powerful with images of distorted bodies and sounds of life dedicated to resisting the lines around them. Domie is remixed in scrap books and installations, an object of gaze as much as the performers round it. I walk through someone’s diploma project where panels clang with digital sounds when I touch them and a heavy electronic breathing pervades everything and feeds into the quiet of the picnic as a rhythm to the day.

In Dresden, my presentation is called “This will not be Tidy” and I show pictures of disputed wall art near my home. Home-from-home…



(3) BordersThis passage is short. I pass through four countries and there are no visible borders. I sit on trains, planes and boats and walk off them. No one asks for documentation. I am sitting at an airport now and I am finally on the other side of the invisible line that skirts much of Europe, trusting our intentions. I am waiting to fly to the country that chose to be outside this.

This is long and coming. I return to a country where a new hard-right government is destroying social fabric for their personal gain. I have passed through Sweden where, this week, they accepted a right-wing coalition, their fascists second in the national polls. I spent a day in Poland, a country that withholds identity rights from those deemed transgressive, where the mainstream is easy to shock and the expectations are shocking. I read of Italy selecting the far-right to make a government, with prioritization for citizens, whatever that dog-whistles to its supporters. I talked to Germans about the nation’s definition of anti-semitism, which itself seems anti-semitic, and we discuss the falling popularity of the AfD in the east. That, at least, is something.

I think of moments that I have been trapped in long queues to show my eligibility, hoping that I will again be allowed to enjoy the things I have assembled round me at home, whatever that means. It never feels certain. 

I am allowed on the plane back to the UK.
(4) CharmHe catches me at dusk as we walk from community garden to the conference supper and falls into step. He is boyish but not young and a curious mix of Spanish and Norwegian, one of the few people here with no German. He has missed the work of the day, coming by train from Oslo and arriving late, but how late we don’t know and don’t ask because he has missed the other keynotes and he knows that is bad form. He has a quick humour that fills his eyes and makes it fun to talk. His lightness is unlike the sobriety and pomp of the, mostly, Germans. 

We part for supper, picking up later, conspiratorially at the closing notes, to share a walk to the hotel and it is a pleasant 30 minute walk through the dark park, a walk that holds more appeal with a companion and especially one with charm. We talk about the weaknesses of ecological economics and what the audience at this conference will appreciate. It is a mixed group - no way to win, no way to lose; someone will be interested somewhere. We talk about what to say when you have lost faith in your arguments. He has been booked for a particular perspective, he says. I don’t know why I have been booked, I say.

Over breakfast, we talk more and then walk fast to the strangely-named but beautiful German Hygiene Museum for the second day, where I place him in the hands of the organizers and go check my mail. His talk is accomplished and I learn more about ecological economics, but his ambivalence to his own materials appears in the questions and I recognize that he is becoming a CreaTure, though he doesn’t yet know it. 

I tell him with sincerity that his presentation was engaging and agree, yes, it did show that he no longer is convinced by his own rhetoric, but not in conveying it. It was in the moment that he confessed so in the questions. His eyes light up and he seems pleased.

At lunch, I am arguing about temporalities with a large German professor with a desire to manage unruly types of time. We stray into the bad politics of Documenta, how the art exhibition just closing may have unleashed a national crisis of identity. I only catch sight of my companion in the distance on another floor and, when I go to say goodbye, he is already gone. 

Back in my room, I discover he has nearly twenty-five thousand citations for work he no longer believes in.



(5) FoodMartyna has made the best cheesecake in the world. She has also made a fine carrot cake, also gluten free. And there are my plums and some heavy buckwheat-and-fig bread I brought from Stockholm – heavy, both to eat and to carry.

The breakfast at Hotel Altus Old Town is the best too. There are salads of cauliflower and radish, spiced chicken and a spinach-and-banana smoothie, as well as the European hotel essentials of watermelon, eggs, sliced meats and cheese, coffee, hot water and cereals. 

In Berlin, I have glass noodles on my first and last day and it makes me happy, so perhaps I seek something that only appears in Vietnamese food. There is beetroot risotto and licorishly black buckwheat bread with Cassie. With Kit, the Turkish omelette is girded with fruit, olives, honeyed yoghurt and salad, like a Middle Eastern thali.

In Stockholm, Airi, Chiara and I gather over a Lebanese feast and drink a wine that tastes of sandalwood and Mediterranean berries. It costs 670 SEK a bottle. Laura buys me an ice cream of yuzu sorbet and Marrakesh, a fragrant orange flower, saffron and pistachio. 

On the ferry, I salute the waves with a longeru brought from Finland, that mix of sweet grapefruit and gin that is good in saunas, but goes well in my drop-down living quarters across the northern archipelagos.

In Dresden, there is a day when everything at the conference has potato, aubergine or wheat in it and I run away to the supermarket and buy chicken, grated carrot and beet to eat in my hotel room.

I go to the opera and watch parties dine at high tables surrounded by glistening champagne flutes. It feels festive, but the story we are here to see is of starving artists who live by fooling the landlord and cheating a rich old man and I wonder with whom the audience identifies.

I have travelled with apples from my tree and the last of the summer’s apricots; I leave with another heavy buckwheat loaf in my luggage. There is nothing for the birds.



(6) PatienceIn the end, I take the path of least resistance. In the end, I make like water. I queue a lot. I carry my world on my arm. I am forever grateful to Sabine for taking my pink suitcase. I carry it down six flights and up and down eight, but just the once.
I take trams where there are trams and walk as many places as are reasonable in the time. I choose paths through the green parts on the map. I meet trees. I fall into step. I keep my documents in a pocket with my glasses, hung from my neck. I check two phones and ask directions. I get lost but I don’t miss major connections. I am on time. I keep everyone up to date. Eventually, I arrive.
(7) PrivateThere are thoughts that I have about Europe as I lose myself in folds of history and make believe, about Europe as an phantom thought, what it has meant and might mean. What it might mean for people and creatures of all types and creeds, wherever here is at any moment and conversely what is there. It might be or it might not be. Things hang more precariously now. I think these thoughts and they think me, bound up with great railway stations, a promise of distance and displacement, of new scents and vistas, of ends, of clinking trucks, of a small suitcase once and a hope lived and dashed. In the end, these thoughts, even shared, cannot be shared.
There are doors to open before the whistle.

Baggage to manage.

Keys to receive.

Places. Debts. Time.


Felipe G. Gil
Open Forest Collective
Format:  .mp4, .txt
Location: Seville, Spain
Date: 2022




Proyecto Gimnasio
Israel Galván y el Ballet Flamenco de Andalucía
XXII Bienal de Flamenco, Sevilla 2022

We’ve been here for a very long time. We’ve seen a lot. We’ve also travelled far. The whole time, humans thought we’re serious, in different ways. But actually we’re pretty playful. In fact, we’ve always played with all sorts of creatures that make us and pass through us in different times. Small creatures, including humans, used to swim with us but these days not so much. 

If you allow me, let me tell you something on behalf of some of us: humans seem to think we need to be saved. That’s interesting … especially when we can actually take over the whole city if we wanted. Have you seen a river gone wild? Yeah.

Now, you see the performance? Interesting, also. Humans are moving like fish, eels, frogs, crocodiles, ducks, and dragonflies, just to name a few. They come and do this sometimes. I vibrate with the sound they make with their own bodies, other bodies, and machines, and ah, fireworks. 

During some festive times, there are also fireworks. They’re incredible to look at. But hey, they certainly feel like guns and knives - just much worse. Lithium, sodium, copper, barium, calcium and strontium all make pretty colors but then they bring toxic gasses and poisonous matters into our own bodies. It feels like a war-zone. Because, anything you do around us, we live through it, too. 

Before I leave you, I just got an email from one of the General Assembly of the Ants Colonies On The River Bank. And they told me that, please, make sure you don’t sit on them by accident if you go to a flamenco show again. Not good for them or for you. 

I know you’re gonna continue doing your "human thing": being creative, saving everything, celebrating, but please, remember this message next time you plan to do something around us. For however long we might be around, or you might be around. Dance on.

Sincerely yours, 
Guadalquivir River. 


Martyna MillerFormat:  .jpg
Location: Martyna's
Date: 2022



Danielle WildeFormat:  .txt
Location: Umeå, Sweden
Date: 2022

But Where Are All the Dogs?

I was always surrounded by animals. When I was growing up they were in the fabric of everything, the soil we walked on, the rivers we jumped over, the trees we climbed in, the air we breathed. They made the air sparkle and they ran along beside us.

All I wanted to do was record the breathing, sniffing, sounds of a dog exploring. But I couldn’t find a dog. Over the course of the loop I was in several locations – urban and rural, different cities and countries. And in all that wandering, I didn’t see a single dog. I even asked people randomly in conversation: “do you have a dog?”. They always said no. 

Where have the dogs gone? In Istanbul they were everywhere. Fed drugged food by the municipality so they don’t cause people harm. When I think of home, I think of dogs. I have friends in far off locations with dogs. It never occurred to me that I wouldn’t find one. We breed dogs, we cuddle dogs, we run with dogs, we even fear dogs. But in my life, when I was looking for a dog, any dog, a random dog, a stray, a stranger, the friend of a friend, I couldn’t find one…